Oh that mind o'mine!

Sometimes I don't understand why things happen period. Not just why the happen the way they do, but overall I suppose. Like, why am I up right now typing my first blogpost on this site? It was like something inside of me went off and prompted me to write my thoughts. And so here I am. Maybe I'm using this to explore my so-called gift for words. That's what I've heard people tell me, for years now. I know I seem to have this gift, this talent, this way of expressing my innermost thoughts and feelings that I would not do otherwise.
I've been making plans for my future. My whole life, I've been making plans for my future. I think when you're born, God may not have your whole entire life planned out piece by piece, but he knows what's best for you and there has to be at least an outline. Since early elementary school, I've known that I was blessed, even through my daily situations. You see, I have known for as long as I can remember, that I was going to be a doctor someday. I'm sure some people reading this will think nursing would the right path for me, and maybe they're right. Howveer, I have a plan, to which nursing is a backup. I will continue on at Graceland to major in health, minor in both religion and human services, retake chemistry later on, take and succeed on the MCAT, and graduate from medical school with a focus in either neurology, public health, or pediatrics. I WILL be successful. I want to save lives, I want to be a hero, I want to change so many things.
Sometimes, I wish I could change my life without watching the world change around me. I've had so much security in my church family, of which I'm sure are reading this, and now it seems that there's this gaping hole of what ifs, or things that might be happening. Nothing will ever change how I feel about any of them, especially not the Anderson family themselves, but I got so used to a certain way of doing things  and even though I've been away at Graceland for months, I had this image of what congregation I would come home to. Well I'll tell ya something, It's not the same without Pastor Jeff, that's for sure. Looking at some of the things he has dealt with and the people he has saved and helped, the things he has seen, it makes me appreciate everything that him and his family has done even more. So ending all the super sad stuff, I will pray about this andhope that things aren't this tumultuous by summer time, middle of may for me.
I know I want to be a doctor. I know that much. But I seem to be easily impressionable when it comes to what interests me, and I know I have a passion for medical healing, but what if I also have a passion for writing? I mean, I am obviously pouring out myself into this thing that perhaps no one will read.
But at least I'm typing it.