The Good Life

So it's going on the third week here at Graceland. It actually feels like it has been three weeks here. I guess at times it feels different, depending on stress and such. And honestly, life has been so freaking good. My luck was really bad for a minute there, but I prayed and God turned it right around for me. He does things like that. And, I have my plans for not only Spring Break planned out, I have my drive home in May planned too! Solidity and stability means so much to me. :)
Still having a little trouble getting textbooks, but my friends have been real generous about letting me borrow theirs. It's working for the most part, but could never beat having my own. And actually my funds are on the way. I know my grandmother is doing her best, and I appreciate her efforts more than ever.
So far I've had nothing in late, I've been on time or early to every class, and have taken one extra one-hour shift at the desk. The other day, I finally got refunded for the junk tv Amazon sent me, so I went to Wal-Mart and got a brand new Emerson 32 inch. It's wonderful, and seems perfectly huge in my dorm room. Now I'm just waiting on Damon to hear back from his old room mate, and I'll have a mini fridge.
My mom says my care package is on the way. Boy, that makes me excited. I like care packages, because my mail box gets real lonely except for campus ministries and CCLP mail, and the occasionally annoying graceland accounts mail.
I have just been loving life lately. And I know that God is giving me strength and courage to be so joyful and to praise him so. Which is extra special because if he had not sent Jesus to be by my side right now, I would be so caught up in the chaos that is my church life. Back home, I'm not sure what's going on, since Pastor Jeff has been sick and they're looking for someone to come be PowerHouse pastor. Well, maybe I wasn't supposed to say that, but everyone knows that anyway. It's still sad though, because I think Pastor Jeff spoiled us in a way; we had/have it so good there. I've visited other congregations, and even what we have here on Campus at GU is NOTHING like the PowerHouse. We are/were truly a unique congregation with Pastor Jeff. One thing that worries me is: what is it going to be like now? How different will it be in May when I return? But I guess in a way, being in such a warm, welcoming, close knit congregation, it shielded me from seeing just how crooked or messed up some people, no matter how churchy or Jesus-y they are, you can really some of their real colors, and they aren't at all what you expect them to be. I know everyone has their faults and I am not here to judge, its just that when you see people one way, it's hard to see them the same when they've lost your trust. It's like church life is flipped upside dowm right now. There's so many things we've got to figure out, as a congregation, as a mission center, as a community in whole. And another question that sometimes plagues me is: why is it hard for us to stay on the path with Jesus, even in the position of leadership in our church?
I've had some confusion dripping from last semester. Like, I failed advanced chemistry, and that was only the beginning course. I then realized I could never be a doctor or go to med school, and after realizing my dream was crushed, it took some soul searching, the advice of a beloved mentor/best friend/ mother figure, and a meeting with a counselor, then a career counselor, to help me realize that my one true dream was to heal, to help people, to make things better. I can still be in medicine, I can still take care of sick people, and I will be working with infants. I will be a NICU nurse, which is one thing I wanted in the first place, but I strayed away from it. Besides, nurses do more hands on work and make a true difference, and I have always wanted that for my life. I still am passionate about a lot of things, but when it comes down to it, my hands were meant to heal and my heart to love, just as Jesus did. I'll complete all my prerequisit classes here at GU, and after the end of my sophmore year, I'll be transferring back home to University of Maryland School Of Nursing. That way I can get a job, save for my own apartment or car, and be in the area I long to be in anyway, That means I don't have to fulfill GU graduation requirements, which means I don't have to spend my winters here, and that makes me extra happy. I know some people don't support me leaving GU, but it's my life and my career, and I don't care about any other input unless it's helpful. And so far, people have been very much so, but then again, those people are my friends, and not my elders, who might have a totally different opinion.
One more thing, court is coming up on the 28th of this month. I'm so nervous about it. I don't know much about it, but I know it has to do with Reuben Dunn, and I want him to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. I want closure for my friends, for Courtney and Emerald's families, I want things to be better. I want wounds to begin to heal. God, I know you got this. ! I pray so much so us all, and especially the Angeles family who have just siffered another tragic loss. Lord, when willl the loss and sorrow end, and the rainbows begin?
Please God, I know you got this!