Letter to God

The following is an actual letter that I wrote to God while I was distracted from tonight's reading for classes...

Dear God,
It's not often that I have the guts to write or even publicly speak to you. It is not that I ever forget, it is just that sometimes I do not know how or what i want to say. Right now I feel like my relationship with you is so distant or strained because of some of the things I have done, said, and how some of your followers have interpreted your word. I just want to know what it is you want me to do right now. How am I supposed to follow you? That seems like a stupid question, especially in a position of spiritual leadership, but it is a major hole in my life right now. What exactly is right, and what exactly is wrong? What makes me a good Christian, what makes me good enough to follow you? If I ever decide to go out and have fun or party just once, does that make a bad person or a bad follower? Sometimes I feel like I have given up so much, and I have seen some of work pay off, I feel like I can never get closer to the answers I need or want from you. It seems right now that I am full of questions and what I am needing is answers! It is true that I have a lot to work on in my life and inside of me, and I am so grateful to you for already allowing me to have such wonderful people and support in my life. That is truly amazing. I hope to strengthen my life with you through this Lent season. I hope to rid myself of anxieties that hurt me, and to be healed through my faith in you.
A lost follower,
Crystal.